if you close your eyes and listen close, you can hear the chapter close.

sometimes i get frustrated by the clarity in which god speaks to me. his blunt and straight up voice leaves no room for me to bend what he has said into something i like or feel comfortable with. i have no choice but to believe it and trust it.
its scary at times. but beautiful in others.
i love hearing from him regardless. his instruction guides me through the good times and bad.
i am so thankful for a god that never leaves me.
a god that has a plan.

mary.

this week has been incredible.
words cannot describe.

but ill try my best anyway.
heh funny guy.

i was such a loner for the first day. well, no, i lie. i was actually hanging out with three of the most quality guys i know, but i was in need of some serious girl company.
we were staying at a church (mass sleeping) with majestic and another church. the girls seemed real standoff-ish and clicky so imediately i didnt really try to get to know them. egg.

i remember walking into the first session with greg and instantly realising that this conference would change my life.

i'm so inspired.

on wednesday night ps john did an alter call for people who knew they were called to full-time pastoral work.
he prayed for me and i knew, in that moment that there were places i could go with jesus that i hadn't even imagined.
i had no idea how much deeper i could take my relationship with him .
i finally feel focussed.
i have a mission.

i'm usually one of those guys that cries whenever i feel the presence of god.
the whole conference i held myself together until yesterday in the 2pm takeover.
my heart desired for god to tell me something. i was just waiting for him to confirm a vision i had had.
but when he finally did, i freaked out because i realised that it was actually part of his plan.
in fact i was horrified but so so excited.
i have never felt so much emotion at one time, i just had a fat cry.

i wonder how mary felt when the angel came to her?

after last nights session i was pumped.
i knew that i had to go all in and step into a place that was uncomfortable for me.
and when i changed my mindset, everything else changed. i made quality friends with everyone that i stayed with. we got up to lots of mischief pranking people. haha.
im so much more gangster now.

im gonna miss those crazy cats.

i won't let my daughter/s cut their hair until they are at lest 12.

today i...

tidied my room
cleaned the kitchen
vacuumed the house
packed
had a nap
processed all the washing
and did all my homework

because this fighting is worth fighting for
and im not going to see it fall apart.

this year has been one of my most favourite years so far.
not because it has been all fun and dandy, but because of the trials i have seen god take my hand and walk me through.
i have learnt so many lessons.
there has been a particular situation that keeps popping up and bringing with it all the hurt i felt many years ago.
but god has equipped me and given me authority to push it aside and not let things get to me.

i know that god will never
disappoint me
dessert me
abandon me
disown me
give up on me
get sick of me
forget me
no matter how many people do
because he loves me unconditionally.

i am literally jumping with excitement.
i have one week to draw closer to god.
one week without any distractions.
one week to have my life changed.
honestly i am so pumped you wouldn't believe. i would have thought the fact that no other girls are going would put me off.
but i am going there for god and god only.

me and ryan are gonna own the majestic kids with our freestyle rapping.

coming to you soon...

open doors.

last night, before preaching i seriously felt like throwing up.
...
last night, after preaching i seriously felt like i could change the world.

thank you to the person who brings out the silence in me. without even knowing you are teaching me a valuable lesson about the stillness of the lord.

thank you to the person who taught me to pursue the things that matter.

thank you to the person who i can count on to always laugh at me in all my gayness and craziness.

thank you to the person who has taught me to always forgive whole-heartedly.

thank you to the person who highlighted the importance of always looking at things perspectively.

thank you to the person who showed me what it meant to live a generous life.

thank you to the person who taught me to fear the lord.

thank you to the person who always encourages me to be myself.

thank you to the person who demonstrated the power of getting undegnified for jesus.

thank you to the person who widened my appreciation for creativity.

thank you to the person who has always been my best friend, and probably always will. i cherish the time we spend together.

thank you to the person who encourages me.

thank you to the person who is always there to listen to me when i have a wah.

thank you to the person who taught me what it meant to be an uplifting friend.

thank you to the person who always encouraged me to always look at the good in others and recognise their potential above all else.

thank you to the person who showed me what it meant to radiate an inner beauty.

thank you to the person who brought me up to love literature.

thank you to the person who always make me feel like i could change the world.

thank you to the person who taught me how to dress. bahaha.

thank you to the person who displayed the importance of faith.

thank you to the person who helped me mature. your wisdom always encouraged me.

thank you to the person who taught me to be humble.

thank you to the person who taught me to have fun.

thank you to the person who taught me to dream.

thank you to the person who i can always rely on for quality company. you always cheer me up.

thank you to the person who i can always go to for wise council.

thank you to the person who taught me how to go all in.

thank you to the person who showed me how to love unconditionally.

thank you to the person who taught me to listen.

thank you to the person who taught me not to care what anyone else thinks.

thank you to the people who showed me what it meant to be a woman devoted to jesus.

i am forever grateful. xx

happy blog.

did you know that when you type happy into a thesaurus the first result that comes up is blessed.

thank the lord for alphabetical order. cool.

i am constantly in awe of the goodness of our god.
i am in one of the happiest seasons of my life.

school is going swimmingly.

project is on the upward spiral.

i just finished one of the best books ever.

inspiration is coming to me in bounds and leaps.

god is stretching me at elevate.
i am loving it.

nothing gets to me anymore.

i can legitimately say my heart is filled with the joy of the lord.






and just to top things off.....













last night, i found my favourite place in the world.
i didn't want to be anywhere else
with anyone else
doing anything else.
i would say top five favourite nights of my life.