surrounded by quality.

Can I just say that I am so blessed to have the greatest friends ever.
Life would not be the joy thar it is without them...

Mmmmm.

This morning I woke up and freaked out because I didnt know where I was...ahaha. Last night I tidied my room properly for the first time since I got back from London...so about three months. And when I say properly I mean nothing under the beds, item categorized wardrobe, dusted etc etc. Ahhh! Such a good feeling.
I've always thought that you could just take a look at my bedroom and get a pretty accurate indication of how my life is going. The times when it's out of hand usually line up with the times when life is cray cray busy and I'm falling behind with things.
So I decided that in order to get on topof everything, I'd tidy my room. Logic.



....it even smells nice.

a long time coming.

to say that life has been busy over the last term would be a total understatement. I'd say that right now probably has to be one of the busiest and most crucial seasons of my life to date. and i have been on and off sick for most of it which is lame. but God has had my back the whole way through, and countless times he has taken me to a point where i find myself with no words to describe his goodness.
right now, i am sitting in the comfiest armchair, next to a roaring fire, in my onesie with my 'faves'playlist blasting and i have no intention of moving anywhere fast. so beware, this could me a long one.

cambodia.
honestly the amount of times i have gone to write a post-cambo blog since returning has been a little bit ridiculous. i usually get all pumped up to put my experiences into writing but then i end up just sitting here staring at the screen with no idea how to put it into words. i have over 20 drafts on my dashboard all with the title 'cambodia.' i guess in a  nutshell my first missions trip was exactly what i expected it to be but at the same time exactly the opposite. the first couple of days i was in phnom penh (the capital), i have to admit, i was overwhelmed. i looked around and said to myself  "how on earth will i see hope restored to the khmer people?" but just like God said to Lot in Genesis 13v10, he spoke to me clearly and said "look up." and from that moment on, i saw everything differently. God loves Cambodia, and everyone in it.

"he will bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." -isaiah 61v3

everyone we met there inspired me immensly. God has entrusted cambodia into good hands. we had the privilege of working with some incredible people that are doing incredible things.
while we were there, there was a couple of studnets from alaska who were making a short documentary on one of the projects we spent time at. if you would like to watch it, click here. 

there were so many amazing moments in that trip where i saw little glimmers of hope amongst God's precious children, but to be honest when I left I was really frustrated because I felt like I personally didn't do that much to impact people in the long run kinda thing. then I realised that that trip had sewn a seed into Cambodia and into my own life as well. I'm already saving for whenever God decides it'd be a good time for me to go back. Whether that will be next year or 20 years from now, who knows?

project.
in other news, school has been great. i have the privilege of leading the most amazing group of young people who are dedicated to seeing our high school meet their saviour and father. God's hand is totally over burnside high and the doors that he has opened for project over the last term have been incredible. our planning is underway for term 3 and I know that we'll hit it with a bang. watch this space.


the other day, nicola's friend gave her a whole lot of christian movies to watch. most of them are really lame. but this morning i got up and watched this one called Couragious and oh my lanter it was so so good. it tackled the whole issue of the fatherless generation. bro.

so ages ago, i decided that i wanted to go to uni instead of do year 13. i had been pumped about it ever since. part of the reason was because i wanted to grew up, another part was that i didnt really have any quality friends at high school. i hung all my expectations up on that fact. but then i started thinking about the disciples and if jesus came up to me and told me to give up everything to follow him whether i would or not. and sure enough the other night jesus asked me if id be willing to give up the one thing ive been most looking forward to in order to spend one more year dedicated to saving my high school. and i said yes.

ps. photos to come but i dont have them on this computer atm.

Jaffa.

Its amazing how God can take you on a complete 180 turnaround. Last week so many exiting things were going on that going overseas was the very last thing I want to do. As well as expecting a lot out of this trip, I was worried about the kind of environment I was being submerged in and worried that I'd get really homesick. But I love Cambodia. Absolutely every bit of it. From the squat toilets to the ants that eat you to the free wifi and tuk tuks everywhere. From the lol chinglish to the life risking lack of road rules and even to the beggars. I love every part of it. There is no place I'd rather be. I have shocked myself and everyone around me at how quickly I have picked up the language. In just two days I have learnt how to say so many things and I can communicate a bit with the locals. I'm pretty much Asian. And I thought I'd given up on my dream of ever being bilingual! Words cannot describe how much ive fallen on love with this place. As soon as I arrived I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be, maybe not forever but this will undoubtedly be my second home. My heart is for cambodia and its people. The 39 degree hear and constant drip of sweat down my back doesnt even bother me anymore. I'm not even going to start on how precious the children are....my gosh. I never want to leave this place. Ever. Li hao wi!!

Seriously, my God is faithful.

He never leaves me hanging but continues to overwhelm me with his goodness. Haha that was such a "I'm so enthralled by the beauty of Gods creation" moment. But it is soo true.

Passionate changed my life. There was no fat encounter or extreme visions of my future or anything like that. But something inside my spirit was being stirred and I know it will never settle. I am intent on living life in the fullest possible measure, and help others to as well.

I came to what I would easily say was the most amazing Sunday in church I have experienced yet. Aurora centre was packed, the atmosphere was incredible and the revelations were flowing!

How good is our God? Haha, but seriously.

so far this year has brought on a real shift in priorities for me. It's weird, I've been thinking a lot about all the things that I used to value so much and now, I hardly even care about them. It's quite liberating I guess. Strange though cos I never even noticed myself changing. I must have started to focus more on the only thing that really matters, and everything else just slowly faded into the background

Often, I feel like God has thrown me in the deep end a bit. Not in any particular circumstance, just life in general. I quite like it. It means I have the opportunity to stretch my capacity, and that is an exiting prospect.

My birthday was beautiful. I have great friends. And I just spent an hour doing that personality thing, and I took time to answer each question really truthfully but I gave up in the end, cos after three tries, none of my results were right. Dynamic thinker? pff whatever.

Exactly a year ago today I sat up in bed after the most eventful slash shocking day of my life and came to realize just how insignificant and temporary material possessions are in the whole span of things. If worldly things are all you are living for and all that's keeping you up, then it can take one moment to shatter you completely. God is eternal. Everything that happens on earth is meamingless unless you put your trust in him.

It broke my heart to think of all the drained people going to bed that night thinking that it was over or not having any clue where life would lead them tomorrow. They have no idea that there is so much more to live for than a house or nice car or stable job.

'Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done

and what I had toiled to achieve,

everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;

nothing was gained under the sun.' -Ecclesiastes 2v11

And I sobbed. For a fat load of time.

One year on, I am so so proud of this city.

And as cliched and horribly gay as it is, Christchurch will rise.

Its taken me this long to come to grips with what just happened. Seeiously I don't think there are any words that could do justice to the way God showed up at camp.

I had a picnic with quite of the few key chch girls yesterday and honestly, hearing the way they spoke to each other and the testimonies they all shared, I was blown away. Like I was honestly speechless. Then God asked me " why are you so surprised? Isn't this what you expected? And I realized, I had expected the good times, the fat wahs, the Jesus encounters, the worship, I had expected the life change. But what I didn't expect was the aftermath. Honestly, these girls are not letting go. They are clinging to their testimonies and determined not to look back.

This is a movement.

For me, god used camp to tweak some stuff that I hadn't realized were such a big deal and I'm so thankful for that. But above everything else he reminded me that I'm part of a family. And boy what a sweet family it is. I had a fat cry leaving camp on Friday. Saying goodbye to Levi was what set me off. And then it all flew from there. The tears were rolling. Bri foote thanks heaps for chatting to me that night, even though there weren't many words exchanged, you helped me put things into perspective. Amber, that last night was insane. Helene I miss you like crazy. And meesh, your visit is eagerly awaited.

The last 24 hours of camp were hilariously emotional: there were tears of intense laughter, tears of tiredness, tears from saying goodbye, tears of thankfulness and of joy, tears from tryna be strong on the ferry. Honestly. The most crack up times of my life.

Jo Weatherhead; I could not have done it without you.

I'm pumped to do life with you this year.

I also remember this time at camp when I was just having a wee moment with Jesus and trace came up to me and said "Liss, you keep feeling like you're lost, but god has never left you" honestly that is the most simple knowledge ever, but the amount of times I've had to re tell myself that since camp have been numerous.

It takes one moment for me to go from loving life to having a 'Wah what the heck am I doing with my life moment' but seriously, god is good amen!

Heh.

I am so pumped for all the little nuggets of goodness god will give me at camp next week that'll help me own this year.

And I'm even more pumped that he's got nuggets of goodness for everyone. Bro.

2 more flippen sleeps.

So I spent some time the other night just getting pumped about camp and as I was reading through my journal from last year I came across something I had totally forgotten about!

At camp last year God gave me this sweet sweet vision that legit blew me away. Like I remember just falling on my knees doing those fat ugly sobs with like snot dripping everywhere kinda thing afterwards. The vision started out really clearly with two hands cupped together. As they opened up a little butterfly flew out. Cute times. The butterfly flew beautifully until it began picking up specks of dirt on its wings and stuff and began to get tired. Then all of a sudden this torrential rain came down until the butterfly fell down under its weight and into the arms that originally held it.

At first I was like well "what a happy little story" kinda thing and didn't really take it seriously. But then God spoke to me and it was probably one of the top ten clearest times I've heard his voice. He explained to me that the butterfly was me (heh surprise surprise) and that this year there would be times when I'm the flying through life, on top of the world but along the way I'd get discouraged and get wary etc etc and then he will send down his glory and rather than resisting it, I can just fall straight into his arms and get lost in him.

And honestly, nothing defines last year better than that picture right there.

I am so excited for aummercamp you wouldn't believe. Like I could honestly wet myself. No joke.

He said:

"Larissa, don't forget why you are here"

And it hit me like a million bricks falling from the sky.

Every night I stare at the list of dreams that hangs on the wall in front of my bed knowing that none of them would be even the slightest bit possible without Jesus holding my hand. Each one of them scares me. Terrifies me in fact. But not in a bad way, more like in a way that makes me more eager to see them come to pass. Even the normal ones like 'have a beautiful happy marriage' shows me that I can't do this life alone, that I'm just human. I slip up everyday but I am so so grateful for a God of grace. A God that doesn't look at me and sees a hopeless mess but a God that looks at me and sees a world changer and gives me the chance to be one. Regardless of how often I doubt, he has a plan for me to see me prosper. Sometimes I lose sight of this plan. Its so easy to become so engrossed in momentary circumstances but He reminded me that I am here for a purpose.