i'm not one to give up.

i'd prefer to fail while trying my hardest.

sidenote.

at supper the other night we spent over an hour discussing dreams.
sim said that if you eat lots of cheese you have more dreams, so this afternoon i came home and had looots of cheese.
but then i just watched the most gruesome horrible movie ever.
and im really regretting eating that cheese.
cool story.

some chick.

there is this girl in my year. everyone knows her and bags her out all the time.
she got abused a lot when she was younger. every kind of abuse you can think of too.
i had the most beautiful chat with her today.
i may not be able to change the whole world this year.
but i can certainly change her world.
she isnt just some chick who is depressed and desperate.
shes is a daughter of the king of kings.
and she needs to know that.

nuggetty goodness

when we grieve, it is not so much for the loss of the past, but for the loss of a future. When the future is fulfilled once again, then we can look forward with hope in our hearts.

if you only tolerate ideas that agree with your existing beliefs, how will you ever discover new truth of identify your own blind spots?

be honest with people for their sake, not just your own and remember; their response to you remains their resonsibilty.

the need to avoid failure causes perfectionism, and perfectionism causes pessimism, and pessimism robs us of our courage and enthusiasm for the job at hand.

i'm too sick too talk.
its proving really difficult, i actually didnt realise that i talk to myself so often.
i had a great weekend though.
i still have a red tinge to my eyebrow from rocket last night. for once, i think it actually matches the colour of my hair. i always thought it was funny that i have brown eyebrows.
last night at supper, when we were all talking about dreams i realised how crazy the subconcious mind is. like actually.
karly ryder is a gem.
im pumped for a getsmart roady.
and honestly had a fat wah when i found out i could come to conference.
i was really in the mood to be all spontaneous and do something crazy yesterday. so decided im going to shave the side of my head. just a little bit.
but carlo said i have to wait a week before he'll do it in case i feak out and change my mind.
so itll still be crazy but not so spontaneous.

I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.-phillipians4v10-14

this pretty much sums it up.

honestly, this is the most intense movie i have ever seen.
it immediately jumped to my top 3.
you HAVE to watch it.
its insane.

lenience.

im not going to lie.
within the last 24 hours i have recieved three bits of news that have made my heart drop.

im not subject to change.
it used to throw me so much when i expected one thing and recieved another.

but i am learning to trust god. with everything.
he works everything together for the good of those who love him.
hes got it all under control.

cambodia:see you next year.

bad habits of mine:

• pulling out my hair one strand at a time.
• not paying attention in french .
• taking advantage of the fact that my shower is also a bath and falling asleep in there...
• exaggerating stories when i realise they arent actually cool at all.
• changing my plans last minute because i simply cant be bothered.
• talking too much when im tired.
• wearing the same outfit multiple times in one week cos i know that it works and i cant be bothered finding a new one.
• looking at the ruby website enviously everyday and wishing i had a million dollars.
• eating chocolate when i cant be bothered eating slash finding anything else.
• forgetting important stuff im meant to do.
• deliberatly annoying my cat just to see if she can turn into the devil when shes mad.
• eating rice balls too fast and getting the hiccups.
• zoning out.
• writing multiple blogs when im bored then saving them in drafts.
• clicking my knuckles.
• buying someone a gift or writing them a letter and forgetting to give slash send it too them.
• cutting my fringe everytime i get annoyed with it.
• cutting my nails cos they get annoying.
• brushing my teeth multiple times in a row cos im bored.
• not returning library books.

drop it, and walk away.

this dog is a fool.

you won my heart by a landslide

you tend to do it everytime.

balance.

all passion and no skill is pointless.

all skill and no passion is meaningless.

purely stated.

my messy 'taking notes' handwriting looks a bit like my dads. that makes me happy.

this weekend i got a shmall glimpse of what will come in the near future.

my love language is not quality time.

im a sucker for a quality disney movie.

if it wasn't out of love, i would have kept my mouth shut.

jesus will never disappoint me.

happy chappy.

i am nearly halfway in saving for cambodia.

when i go, im going to be helping at a kids programme that gets them of the streets begging and into school.
i'm also going to be visiting a home for girls my age that have been rescued from prostitution.
this is what ive been waiting for.

mulan + the tourist=great movies.

i've been disciplining myself to stretch for half an hour everyday because when i dance for god i want to dance the best i can.
i have bruises on my knees once more,
im doing what i love again.

comfort isn't an option for me at the moment.
i've stepped into a new season.
i'm pushing myself, and i like it.

i have learnt alot from moses' mother and rahab.
it always gets me that the journey out of slavery to the promised land started and ended with women who weren't afraid to stand up to authority and follow god instead.

i make a mean potato bake.

furious by bethel live has been on repeat all weekend.

im starting to really enjoy seafood.
mmmmmm.
clam chowder is ma mains.

i love winter.
i love coming home from school, cooking myself lunch, making a hot drink and spending the whole afternoon in my pyjamas.

i've been learning a lot from doing my art folio.
i know my calling.
i cant wait till i can personalize it more.
only two more months.

my kids at dance class inspire me.
15 out of 21 of them love jesus.
enthusiasm is a great thing to have by your side.

my world is about to change dramatically.
i know that for certain.
i'm ready to have my faith stretched.

my heart is content.
god fulfills all my needs.

little lissy.

its been exactly two years now since started going to elevate.
i went on 29.05.o9.
i was shy, insecure, pretty gay and wore the lol-est clothes ever.
benny took me with him at 6pm in time for sound check. i met tracy before i even walked in the door. she sat down, put everything she had to do aside and talked to me for ages.
then i had a quality conversation with leslie barnes.
first impressions count.
it was the last night in the i heart may series. there was a relationships panel.
i sat there snickering at all the lol questions that got asked.
i remember freaking out that i was gonna damage my ears cos the music was so loud haha.
afterwards i stood by the creepy bodice statue thinghy in the chch girls high foyer and talked to michaela and hannah barnes for ages. michaela was taller than me then, and hannah thought i was year twelve.
without a doubt i loved it. and knew it was where i belonged.

but, i had actually already been once before that. to the first elevate chch in february 2009.
i got a flier at school. i was bored. so i got dad to drop me at heaton intermediate.
i had my school backpack with me and i was real embarrassed so i hid it in the toilets. lol.
i signed this little sheet as i walked in the door and got handed excessive amounts of glow sticks.
i sat in the second row next to swifty, who was wearing a red hat(i think).
i sat there texting all through praise and worship. whatadouche.
this chick called stacee from burnside won skateboard jousting. it was funny.
emma barnes did the notice about transport and i lol'ed at her accent.
ps levi spoke on the power of waiting in eager anticipation.
i left real quickly cos i didnt want to talk to anyone....

but three months later i decided to make elevate my home.

i went to getsmart, and fell in love with jesus for the first time.
it was a beautiful thing.
i cant remember a specific turn around moment, i just know that from that week onward i was sold out and had my own personal relationship with the lord.
i also met this kid called cassandra engler at getsmart. her dad had braided her hair. and she had a really strong south african accent.
i remember meeting jayden stuart, tim and ryan kendrew, ben mcconnell,emma steer, bek burke, johnnie mahima and michaela stewart there. hahaha.
i also made a facebook that week. lol.

whenever a new person walks into elevate now, i think about how well i remember my first impressions of it.
goodtimes.

its funny what you remember.