i need to learn to speak up.
im far too passive.
surprisingly.
i need friends.

this year i have been teaching myself to focus on what counts.
its been paying off.

hero to zero
whatalegend.

my saving scheme is in place.
im leaving for cambodia on the 25th july.

harry potter.
getsmart.
cambodia.
pumped.

yum.

top five savoury foods:
irvines mince pies
deluxe cheeseburgers
salami
souvlaki
melted cheese sandwiches

top five sweet foods:
reeses peanut buttercups
coconut chocolate
honey puffs
french toast
passionfruit yoghurt

the plan.

ma man jesus and i have come to the conclusion that i am going to apply for uni after next year.
madness.

wreckless abandonment.

there was a time when i honestly believed that to show emotion was to show weakness.
i hardened myself. taught myself to cover up everything.
but i didnt realise i was shutting myself off from feeling gods love.

i have now learnt the difference between trying to live in my own strength and giving everything over to god.
there are specific times throughout life when we must abandon ourselves, open up and allow gods healing and hope to flow in through our lives.
there are times when we have to be reassured of gods love.
there are times when we have to ask god for forgiveness.
there are times when we get down on our knees and cry out to god.

and there are other times when we allow gods emotional strength to shine out.

simplicity.

with all its challenges,
trials and
occasional inconviniences
life is great.

to my dismay.

there have been three times in my life where i have mistakenly underestimated the strength of certain animals' jaws. they are as follows:

The Tale of Mikey the Frightened Mouse

a couple of years ago i awoke to the sound of squeaking in my bedroom. i got out of bed only to find my newly bought kitten staring at a pile of clothes dumped on my floor. searching through the pile of clothes lead me to find a small mouse with a gaping hole in its stomach. thinking that the poor animal was to weak to put up a fight i bent down and picked it up gently. all of a sudden the little rat had driven its little teeth into my finger. out of panic, i let go of the mouse yet it remained dangling from my finger by its teeth. it was very sad, but mum had to kill it to detach it from me. i should have just let the cat deal with it.

The Tale of Peanuts the Angry Pony

when my little cousin toby was born, there was a little brown pony living in a paddock in front of the rangiora hospital. my cousins were getting restless in the hospital room so i decided to take them on an innocent trip to see the pony. it seemed very friendly, it came straight over and let the children pat and feed him. me, being the animal lover that i am, decided i would like to feed him as well. i put my hand out flat with i nice pile of grass on it. but apparently the grass was not sufficient for wee peanuts so he bit my fingers instead. he clenched on for a good minute biting harder and harder. i was screaming my head off, i thought he was going to crush my knuckles. in the end maddison came and punched the pony hard on the head and he let go. luckily, i didnt break any bones, just had very blue fingers for a while. the pony learnt its lesson.

The Tale of Delilah the Feral Cat

Delilah is a delightful little cat that we have been nursing for a couple of months now. She had obviously had a very bad experience with humans because she took a lot of taming. but we got to the stage where we could cuddle her and she would purr and everything was beautiful so last night we decided to try our chances of giving her a worming tablet. lets just say, i have never seen a scarier cat in my life. she ripped four massive holes in the tip of my finger and damaged the nerves. i could literally feel her teeth grinding against my bone. my finger is still throbbing like crazy. funtimes!